Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Today I didn't shower. I can smell myself. A hint of BO mixed with some deodorant I put on yesterday or the day before that. I kind of like it. I kind of like to stink. It makes me feel like an animal.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


I don't eat right so I take all these vitamins. Sometimes I wonder if it's just BS. I ration this for people and animals who live a long time and don't scarf down pills everyday. Currently I take a multivitamin, B12, Calcium, and Fish Oil. I take this with a hope that they are good for me. It's never been proven they are, just scientific suggestions and shit. The FDA hasn't approved any of it to diagnose, prevent, or cure any disease. I hate swallowing the massive pills. But I probably won't stop for that "what if they ARE good for you?" thing that might be true. Who knows. Wow this blog post sucks.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Rufus' Bath

My boss Beth called me today with strict orders to come bathe Rufus after class. So I went over there. I didn't see her. She was at the pool. I spied Rufus on the couch. I knew I must capture him. I went over there and hoisted him up. I noticed he as gained weight, I whispered "Found a few crumbs did you, you little fat loser?" into his ear as I removed his collar. He knew something was up. His plump body got all tense as I carried him to the bath tub. He jerked a little in my arms when he realized the inevitable. I turned the water on. Tested the temp with my hand. Just right. I soaked him. The black fleas surfaced and dirt washed away from him. I smothered him with dog shampoo. The bath lasted maybe 8 minutes. I then took him for a walk so he could shake and dry off. I walked him around. Then he shit. I didn't have a plastic bag on me to pick it up so I just left it. 3 strangers saw this. I could almost guarantee you they think I suck because of this.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Stupid Candle

Last time I was at CVS I bought a candle.  It is called "Fresh Cotten".  It smells ok.  Or smelled Ok.  Now its worthless.  The wick is too short and won't stay lit, yet there is over half the wax left.  I tried carving out a little hole to get to more of the wick.  It doesn't work.  It makes me so mad I want to strike something.  Worthless candle.

Monday, July 13, 2009

first blog

This is my first blog. No one will read it or any subsequent blogs after this because nobody likes me. However I will continue to write. Today I woke up after little sleep and scurried to Chick Fil A where I felt sorry for myself waiting in the drive thru to order a biscuit. I got a pathetic fruit cup to go with it once I finally got up to the speaker box to order.  Then I drove to the nearest gas station. As my car filled up with gas, I sat in the car nibbling on my pathetic meal. I dreaded going to school which was my next destination. I got to my 9:30 class on time. Everyone was chipper and talkative all around me, holding coffee cups and looking freshly showered. I hid in the corner with my head down, praying no one would talk to me. Every now and then someone would laugh a little louder than normal, this gave me the desire to strike them. But I knew if I did that I would be restrained and a big to-do would be made of the whole situation. So I did nothing.