Rufus' Bath

My boss Beth called me today with strict orders to come bathe Rufus after class. So I went over there. I didn't see her. She was at the pool. I spied Rufus on the couch. I knew I must capture him. I went over there and hoisted him up. I noticed he as gained weight, I whispered "Found a few crumbs did you, you little fat loser?" into his ear as I removed his collar. He knew something was up. His plump body got all tense as I carried him to the bath tub. He jerked a little in my arms when he realized the inevitable. I turned the water on. Tested the temp with my hand. Just right. I soaked him. The black fleas surfaced and dirt washed away from him. I smothered him with dog shampoo. The bath lasted maybe 8 minutes. I then took him for a walk so he could shake and dry off. I walked him around. Then he shit. I didn't have a plastic bag on me to pick it up so I just left it. 3 strangers saw this. I could almost guarantee you they think I suck because of this.