Tuesday, March 22, 2011

are you sorry? or are you sorry you got caught?

this ranks high among the most bullshit questions of all time.

the answer is usually neither. though i haven't heard it in years. i think kids mostly get asked that.

once i got caught smoking a cigarette at summer camp. eight grade era. few counselors came in to interrogate me and a couple other dudes i was with. "well. are you sorry? or are you sorry you got caught?"

ok so i've looked inside my soul and determined i'm not sorry for smoking the cigarette. everyone does that. i'm sorry you guys are so upset about all of this.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

coffee shop food

why does it always have to suck so bad? it's always some form of pound cake in 20 different disguises.

you'd think the clientele of coffee shops would be somewhat health conscious. apparently not.

at starbucks they even tell you how gross it is:

can't read it? it says 'raspberry scone 470 calories'. ew.

'yes i'd like a decaf double macchiato with one splenda and a quarter-pound cupcake' - no.

look don't get me wrong. all that stuff is well and fine sometimes. i just wish coffee shops had another option for food besides birthday cake. bc it's usually in the morning when i'm there and i don't want to start the day off with a box of oreos condensed into a scone shape. occasionally they'll have a few bananas by the register. but only every now and then. when i come across one i call it 'luck'.

Friday, March 4, 2011

just sayin...

you seen this? 'just sayin...' ??

'just sayin...' what? you're not 'just sayin...' anything. you're 'just sayin...' nothing at all.